It’s the first of the month and the U.S. government just straight up shut down. Everyone’s confused, nothing works, and somehow we’re all still expected to pay bills.
02:46 PM Oct 1st
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Daniel Rosenberg
I got a history test tomorrow, like the past itself is about to pull up and jump me.
11:31 PM Sep 29th
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I swear, if some random kid looks me dead in the eye and says, “What’s a cartoon?” I’m gonna have a public meltdown so loud Bugs Bunny himself gon’ sue me
10:02 AM Sep 29th
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I still think about my second grade teacher sometimes. It’s been eight years, and I kinda wish I could see her again, just to know if she actually remembers me, or if I was just another kid who asked for help spelling “because.”
04:40 PM Sep 28th
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Trump out here like “Tylenol causes autism” bro I can’t even take Advil without crying in the shower, what are you talking about 💀
01:43 PM Sep 26th
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My history class smells like someone spilled bleach on a timeline and left it there.
02:51 PM Sep 25th
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I’m the kind of early Ethan who wakes up at 3 AM just to watch 90’s Nickelodeon reruns, then immediately betrays myself by falling back asleep mid-theme song.
12:23 PM Sep 25th
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I’m the type of early Ethan to wake up at 3:00 AM and watch Regular Show or SpongeBob while slowly convincing myself I’m ready for school.
03:36 AM Sep 24th
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The worst feeling ever is watching a movie and suddenly it turns into a documentary about your GPA because you gotta take notes.
02:35 PM Sep 23rd
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I feel like I got a ton of work to finish, but really I don’t.
02:09 PM Sep 23rd
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I lost my fucking school ID bro, and the room locked… life really playing with me rn.
12:19 PM Sep 23rd
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Bad Morning America, I rise from bed like a discounted action figure, still in the box, but already broken, on my way to school.
12:56 PM Sep 22nd
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Sparta Remixes may have faded long ago, but they will never truly disappear, they’ll always remain.
03:04 PM Sep 21st
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My week of suffering is finally over, for now.
02:37 PM Sep 19th
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I’m having the worst day, two hard tests back-to-back and now my Beats only play on the left side. Tried every fix, nothing worked.
01:06 AM Sep 18th
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I failed my history test with a 43%. I studied, I had notes, I even highlighted stuff. Meanwhile half the class whispered to a robot and passed. This is either the future or a joke, maybe both.
05:10 PM Sep 17th
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My life is in literal denial, I have 2 tests today, U.S. History and French, and I have to wear that fuckass ROTC uniform that looks like a rejected Power Ranger costume. I’m about to be fluent in stress, in fact, I am
02:18 PM Sep 17th
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I was peak terror in Kindergarten & 1st grade. Annoyed EVERYONE. Even my sister cried in HD. 3rd-4th grade? Mellow wizard years. Middle school? Coolish. High school? Legendary… but all the juice was gone.
12:23 AM Sep 17th
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What if everything I learned in school was a news article, and the textbooks grew legs and ran for president while the cafeteria served spaghetti clouds that whispered stock tips to my backpack?
01:54 AM Sep 16th
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Good morning peasants, I’m legally required to attend a government-funded daycare where they grade my suffering.
01:17 PM Sep 15th
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